Dating after divorce can be a real challenge. I’ve had a series of bad dates, but I’m not complaining. At this point it’s all an experience and I learn something from each one. In the process of going on these dates and figuring out what I like, I matched with a man who insisted on cooking me dinner. Sounded nice enough, so I wore my cutest casual outfit and headed over. The meal was nice, he followed the recipe to a T and it was very cute to watch him hurry around the kitchen. Once the meal was served I thought, “note to self, I like it when a man cooks for me”. Maybe we will be eating more dinners together I thought and then all those thoughts came to a screeching halt when it came to clean up.
“Can I do the dishes?” I asked? I can do it he said. “Please let me help”. (With hesitation) I usually just put them in the dishwasher he said. “I can do that!” I cheerfully replied.
I started loading the dishwasher when he said “ummm would you mind putting the forks in one holder and the spoons in another? I like to keep the utensils organized”. Sure, no problem. Then a few seconds later, “would you mind putting the bowls to the back” a minute later, “I usually put all the plates going one direction”. 4-5 comments later I said, “I”ll just let you wrap up so you can make sure it’s done the way you want it”. I dried my hands, told him how exhausted I was and swiftly made my exit.
Some may think, what’s wrong with that? But my thought process goes as follows: I’m an easy going, not picky, who cares where things go in the dishwasher kinda girl. If he’s this picky about his dishwasher, what else is he picky about? This brought back memories of my ex constantly complaining about everything in the house and I couldn’t have been more turned off.
Then there was the date with the guy who insisted on showing me his fillings. In his defense on the first date we did determine that my family member was his dentist, I commented on what a small world it was and thought that was the end of that conversation but nope. He was so excited about the connection he insisted on showing me his fillings! He wanted to tell me about all of his dental work, right there at the dinner table HAD to open his mouth and show me which teeth had fillings and which had a crown…DUDE! I don’t want to see your teeth when you have just been eating dinner! Needless to say that was our last date.
Then there was Mr. Chapstick. He seemed completely normal and it didn’t really bother me that while we were talking at the coffee shop he put on chapstick a few times. I thought maybe he had been out in the wind and his lips needed a little extra moisture. I mean, what girl doesn’t appreciate nice soft lips? But on the next date he put on chapstick several times during dinner and on the 3rd date when he stopped kissing to re-apply chapstick I knew we had a problem.
Mr. Chapstick was also a no-go but I’m not giving up yet…the dating continues!