During the divorce process I decided I needed a post-divorce hobby. Something that represented my new life, something that I could enjoy on my own, something that was “the new me” and I decide this was going to be golf.
Sure I went through a few other ideas before deciding on golf. Sex came to mind as I was very much enjoying doing that after divorce, but sex as a hobby…I was afraid that might get dangerous. Then martini’s and chocolate seemed like they could be a hobby at the rate I was eating and drinking but that only lead to feeling not so fabulous the next day. In all seriousness I ran through the typical things women do as hobby’s and nothing really spoke to me. I’m not particularly sporty or coordinated but golf brought together all of my favorite things. I loved the idea of sunshine, being outdoors, the fact that you can get in a golf cart and drive around, not to mention the fact that you can drink while playing this sport! I was excited about the cute little skirts, and not getting super sweaty, of course all the men on the golf course wouldn’t hurt my chances of meeting someone new either!
I’ll save you all the details, but the bottom line is, just because your put-put game is on point doesn’t mean you are going to be a good golfer. Me and my cute golf skirt were so focused on form the instructor taught, I was never able to actually hit the ball and a few lessons in, decided I was good at the golf carts and the drinks, but horrible at the actual golf.
Almost 2 years later, I haven’t stepped foot on a golf course and although I’m not opposed to trying golf again just haven’t found myself motivated enough to take another shot at it. That is because naturally, over time, I found new things that I enjoyed that I never even thought of. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone since my divorce and tried new things just for the sake of saying yes and having a new experience. In that process I’ve come to find that I have a new love for a few things that have become unique to the new me.
If you are starting, in the middle of, or just finishing a divorce, don’t worry about trying to create a new you. Just be open to new experiences, say yes to trying new things and the new you will be created over time, just the way it should and will be even more amazing than the old version