5 things you need to know when online dating

What an awesome thing dating apps are.  You upload your photos and get to swiping! Swipe right if you like him, swipe left if you don’t.  It’s like instant access to dates and a plethora of men through your thumb! Pure genius whoever invented it.

I hear complaints about dating apps all the time. “Its for hook-ups” “its so superficial” “it doesn’t work” “I’m NOT going to do that”.  Fine by me, more men on the apps for me to meet!  I personally think the problem isn’t the dating apps it’s the mindset of these people that hate them.  Of COURSE if you’re that negative to start with, chances are you are going to have a negative experience with the dating app.  I do great on the dating apps, I love swiping, I have an awesome time and I couldn’t be happier about my life.  Here are my 5 tips to making swiping on a dating app a positive experience and increase your chances of meeting someone.

  1.   Upload photos that are fun and represent a real you.

Leave the duck face, bathroom booty shot, yoga pose photos out of this.  I have heard from numerous men if they see one more girl with her ankles behind her ears in some weird yoga pose or another duck face shot they are going to vomit.  Not then men don’t love seeing your ankles behind your ears, but be you.  Men need to see what they are getting.  Upload one close up of your face, one photo of your full body, and another photo with something that represents you.  Maybe it’s a pic with some friends, you outdoors somewhere, at an art gallery, whatever it is is fine but let it be a true representation of yourself.

  1.   A good narrative goes a long way but don’t over think it!

When you go to put in a narrative about yourself, be witty.  Write a story about something funny that happened to you. Say something about what you like to do and if its work, or eat bonbons, that’s ok! No need to front and say you like fishing when the closest you ever got to anything that resembles a worm was your ex’s dick.   Please don’t write an essay about how you hate dating apps, and your ex was an ass and you are looking for serious relationships only.  That’s a red flag to anyone, might as well just write in there “I’m CRAZY”.  Keep your description of yourself short.  Say a knock knock joke if you have to or list the last 3 places you traveled and list the next 3 places you’d like to do it.  It isn’t hard and don’t over think it.

  1.   When swiping for the love of god don’t be picky.

I know a lot of amazing people who don’t always take photos of themselves.  I also know some really good looking people that aren’t photogenic and look like ass every photo I’ve seen of them.  Remember chemistry plays a huge part.  You may be looking at someone and thinking they aren’t attractive but had you met them in person, their personality or scent might attract you and make them the sexiest person to you!  One day I decided that I was going to swipe on everything I saw.  I can’t tell you how many interesting people I met just by open minded swiping!  See someone who’s not your typical type?  Who cares! Swipe right and see what happens.  You might just meet a great new friend if they aren’t your next Mr. or Mrs. Right

  1.   Stop looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right.  Just look for Mr. or Mrs. Right now!  

Looking for your future ‘life partner’ puts WAY too much pressure on the whole thing.  Go into it looking for new experiences, to meet new people and to enjoy yourself along the way.  You will be surprised what you will experience when you open yourself up in a positive way.  While we are talking about being positive, BE POSITIVE!  Meet a guy who asks you about your genital hair grooming habits on the first date while picking his teeth?? (Yes this happened by the way) Its ok! Stop looking at it like another failed date, or a waste of time.  Instead I laughed about it, enjoyed the food that was on my plate, giggled endlessly with my girlfriends about it later and was reminded I don’t like guys who pick their teeth at dinner.  Every date is an experience, a gift to meet someone and learn something about them or about yourself.  That expression that life is a journey not a destination can be used for dating too.  Its about the fun you are having while looking for that special someone not just about the part when you find them.

  1.   Don’t ask what you “are”.  

We have all been there, you either go on a few dates or have sex with the person and then look them in the eyes and say “so, what are we??”.  I get nauseous just thinking about it.  If you have to ASK what you are then let me be the first to tell you, you are on different playing fields!  A relationship is going to happen when it needs to happen with the definition that you both want it to.  I’m not saying date someone forever without defining your relationship but I’m saying if you are questioning where you stand with them, it’s likely not on stable ground.  And if you’re ok with that, because you are busy with your own thing and other people than great, it’s a good arrangement!  But if you are feeling like you don’t know where they stand instead of asking “what are we” just be you and continue looking for someone that doesn’t make you wonder what the definition of “we” is with them.

I understand online dating isn’t for everyone but from swiping alone I have met great friends, made a business associate, was introduced to places that were outside of my norm, heard new music, some I liked and some I didn’t, but more than anything I have learned so much about myself in this process and had SO MUCH FUN! Download that app and get to swiping there are some entertaining people out there waiting to be met!

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