Protecting your heart- do heart condoms exist?

I need a condom for my heart, do heart condoms exist?  Protecting your heart is just as important as protecting your privates so if heart condoms don’t exist, I need to work on inventing them.  Post-divorce I really just want to have a good time.  I don’t want to worry about expectations that come from a relationship or having feelings involved in my dating.  I meet someone, say I want something casual, keep it casual, date occasionally…then some time between saying I want casual and spending time with them, feelings develop.

Its like I can’t even prevent it.  Before you know it they are asking me what I’m doing each day, I feel bad if I’m communicating or on a date with someone else and the people I date start having expectations over time.  I keep trying to look casual, look like a one night stand kinda girl, but I think I must taste like marriage material or something cause casual doesn’t work for me.  A few weeks in we are having the “are you dating anyone else” conversation and sharing their desire to be exclusive.

I’ve started likening it to having a job opening for an entry level position and I keep getting these people that are WAY over qualified!  I actually used that line once when this one guy I was dating told me he wanted to be my “partner in life”.  A wave of panic washed over me and I told him “I don’t do partners, in fact I’m a sole proprietorship and I have an opening for an entry level position in this company and you’re coming in asking for a position as CEO.  I don’t have a position available for you.”

I’ve learned however that the more apologetic you are about it the more they try to convince you otherwise.  I’ve found that if you are very matter of fact about where you stand and what you want, the more they respect and appreciate your honesty.  Some hang around, some leave and that’s fine too.  Doesn’t always feel great, I hate it when someone I’m dating decides they want more and stop seeing me because of it, but I have to respect their boundaries as well.  I just wish there was a way to prevent the heart getting involved, things would be so much simpler.  The vagina and the heart anatomically aren’t that close and yet with me its like there is a direct connection.  My advice is until someone develops a heart condom, be clear from the beginning what you are looking for and don’t be apologetic about it.  In the end you have to be true to yourself and what you want. Happy dating!


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