Helping Your Way Single

helping, single, dating, divorce, intimacy, how to date after divorce, sex, sex blog

I’m a helper. Always have been. Always will be. And I’ve recently realized it is the key (and/or curse) to staying single. As a heterosexual female I’ve learned that helping is erotic kryptonite to men. Fucking kryptonite.

No one wants to fuck the girl that makes you a sandwich. They want to fuck the girl rubbing jelly on her tits and not giving one single thought to the clean up involved after. No one wants to fuck the girl who brings you tissue and soup and vitamins when you’re sick. They want to tongue kiss the busty vixen who won’t stop to consider that it is flu season and her schedule doesn’t afford her time to be sick. And, no one wants to fuck the girl who hears that you’re too warm in the middle of the night, gets you water, sets up a fan by the bed, notices you left the bed to move to the couch, turns on living room ceiling fan, notices you left that room and assumes you went home to escape the extreme-compulsive (and not sexy) mothering. That last one probably resonates with way more people than just me, right? No? Damn.

We live in a virgin/whore society. The proverbially lady in the street/freak in the sheets. Is there space for both the freaky whore and the lady virgin/mother? Can I both make you come and make you a reminder to-do list for your upcoming busy week? If Freud was right about his Oedipal complex with boys wanting to bang their moms then shouldn’t this polarization be a societally acceptable way to dick down your metaphorical mom? My only conclusion is that Freud was wrong. Heterosexual men can’t (or don’t want to) integrate the virgin and the whore.

So, to my fellow helpers out there: proceed with caution. The next time you’re called to help just realize you may be actively cockblocking yourself. But don’t worry, I’ll be there to help you.

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