I met a cute boy at a coffee shop. He saw me reading and, non-creepily, asked me about my book. The conversation flowed easily and we ended up working next to each other while casually chatting about our lives and interests. He gave off zero sex vibes, but was attentive and good looking, so I briefly wondered if he was already in a relationship, gay, or only interested in a friendship.
We swapped numbers as I got up to leave (heading off for a date with another cute boy) and I was still mildly baffled at the lack of clear intention. My intrigue grew as the weeks passed and we hung out more frequently. We went to coffee, he came over to help me with a project, I went to his house where he made me lunch, etc. I learned he was single and heterosexual, but still could not sense an overt angling to get me in bed.
I realized that I didn’t have a file in my brain for this type of interaction. My current platonic guy friends are mostly gay men, men in relationships, men I’m not interested in sexually, or men I used to have sex with and don’t anymore. Where is the friend space for a single man who I’m attracted to? Why was he not trying to have sex with me? Was it possible that – gasp – he was trying to get to know me first???
We recently made plans for an early morning workout followed by breakfast tacos. The gym time was great, the tacos were heaven, and I noticed mid-taco that the energy was shifting. Something extremely subtle was happening. The eye contact a fraction of a second longer. The conversation a fraction of an inch closer. Each touch lingered just a moment more than the last. I observed this without engaging in it as I was pretty focused on my taco and also tracking the time so I wouldn’t be late for work.
He walked me to my car and we went in for our usual hug goodbye. Only this time our lips met as if we had kissed thousands of times before. We hugged for a long time after the brief kiss as if both consciously deciding the next step. The one that irreversibly shifts the dynamic. We were hugging at a fork in the road: path one goes back to friendship and we could pretend that kiss was platonic-ish; path two goes to inevitable sex.
Without a word we simultaneously started a slow, steady jog down path two. The parking lot make out was fantastic even though my breath smelled like tacos and coffee. We haven’t seen each other since, but we are in no rush. His patience is sexy as hell. It symbolizes this confidence that we will continue to be in each other’s lives. It feels like he knew all along that we’d end up here and was waiting for me to catch up with him. Maybe he was busy throwing a red carpet down path number two. All I know for sure is I am excited to explore this. And, that I’m not a patient person.