I’m a people pleaser. I want people to like me and I have the freaking hardest time when someone doesn’t. I know I shouldn’t care, I know not everyone is going to like me…but my inner voice says “why not!? Why shouldn’t they like me?” And it bothers me. I do everything I can to make them like me and if they still don’t, I say “fuck-em” but it bothers me still.
After leaving my ex I didn’t see any reason why I should un-friend any of his friends or family. After all they all shared a part of my life, a time in my life that he was involved in and I built relationships with them. I found it interesting when I noticed some of them unfriended me. Unfriending me!? Why? What did I do? I didn’t cheat on him, I wasn’t bad to them, I wasn’t bad to my ex either. I did leave and despite his best efforts to convince me to stay and make it work I didn’t go back, didn’t change my mind and moved on. Clearly this doesn’t make me a bad person! So I said fuck-em, but it bothered me. A few hard months followed after leaving him and everyone had an opinion. What I should and shouldn’t be doing, making comments about what I was doing and posting on social media. Spice told me several times to cut these people out and block them on social media but I couldn’t.
Until one day I had a photo of myself and my friends that I posted on social media out to dinner dolled up and looking fancy. This photo was accessed by someone I hadn’t cut out on social media, forwarded to my ex and then blasted through text and email to friends and family calling me a “slut” for having left my ex and posting photos of myself happy on social media. I was filled with rage, so much rage in fact I didn’t care that they didn’t like me and I wiped out every single person on social media that were related, friends or family of my ex. I didn’t care if they liked me or didn’t, I didn’t care what they thought when they found out I deleted them, I didn’t give a rats ass about anything anymore and the following week I felt amazing.
For once when I said “fuck-em” I meant it. What gives anyone the right to make me feel guilty for posting a photo looking happy!? We each do our best every day to live our lives happy and no one can take that away from us. People we friend on social media should change over the years and evolve. Some of these people stay stagnant and then have problems with the evolution of others. These are the people you need to unfriend. So don’t be afraid to do it! Social media purge every year or so, it’s like spring cleaning of people you’ve friended. I didn’t do it for years and I can’t tell you how amazing it feels now that I have.
Don’t worry about what people are going to think, everyone is going to have an opinion one way or another, and what people think of your decisions is completely inconsequential if you are happy.
Pour yourself a glass of wine and hit “delete friend”, enjoy!