You’re likely thinking with a title like sex and Uber, I was raunchy and had sex during an Uber ride. No, although I like how you think! Instead this story brings sex and Uber together, but one after the other and is more about voicing your needs and being unapologetic about it.
It was a busy week, between work, family, kids and everything else going on, I hadn’t had time in the last few weeks to focus on making new matches and meeting new men. I had physical needs however and a night without plans, so I called a guy I had previously slept with and knew he could meet my needs for the evening. We grabbed a quick bite to eat and went home to get to it. A few pleasurable hours later I was exhausted, already thinking about my next day and the things I needed to do. I wanted to sleep and I needed my bed so I casually smiled at him and said, do you have an early day tomorrow? (hint hint get out of my bed and go home please). He smiles sleepily and says “yes, but don’t worry I’m not going anywhere”. Ummmm this isn’t going to work I thought. A few minutes later he was breathing heavily against my back and it was bothersome…maybe I need to be a little more direct I thought. So I waited a little longer and said, “since we both have early days tomorrow maybe we should call it a night for tonight?” His response: “Don’t worry babe I’ll hold you all night” Oh hell no my inner voice said, this called for reinforcements. I escaped to the bathroom and called Spice. “Girl, (I filled her in on the story and ended it with a question) what do you tell guys after you’re done and ready for them to leave?” Spice who is so much more unapologetic and honest than me said “I tell them, ‘I called you an Uber, should be here in a few minutes, do you need some water?’ Oh my, could I say this I thought? I said to Spice, “If I tell him that, he’s going to know that I want him to leave!” “That’s the point”she said!
Well, he had his car and I didn’t need to call him an Uber but I marched back into the bedroom with a glass of water and said “I got some water for you before you go!” That luckily did the trick. I learned that night that I need to be more direct and make my needs known. If I need a good night sleep in my own bed without distractions, there is nothing wrong with that and I don’t need to feel guilty about making myself a priority. I think many of us feel guilty about being honest about how we feel and putting ourselves first. So whether you call them an Uber, hand them a glass of water, or just ask them frankly when they are going to leave, HOW you do it doesn’t matter its just important that you do it, and never be embarrassed to put your needs first.