I do not have a prostate. Pro: no prostate cancer risk. Con: no prostate pleasure. I had never realized that the prostate was the male equivalent to the g-spot on a woman and had not even thought to try to touch my ex-husband’s. Eeewwwww. But, my interest was peaked when my incredible friend – who happens to be gay and also happens to have lots of different sexual experiences – told me about the wonders of the prostate. I sat enraptured by this new information and asked him to tell me all the details about what it feels like, how to find it, and what to do with it once you get there. He told me about the elusive ‘prostate orgasm’ where a man will often not ejaculate, but rather will have an intense internal orgasm facilitate by prostate massage. Um, done.
As you guys may or may not know, I’m trying to find my signature ‘thing’- am I a choker?, am I a biter? am I a prostate massager (aka prostate milker)? Am I a ____________? This is true field research to find out what resonates the most for me. Obviously, the energy between me and my partner(s) and their comfort level will guide the experience, but I’d like a few specialities. I knew just who to call: Sadist.
For those of you who don’t know, Sadist is a sweet man in my life who also happens to be deep in the kink world and is a self identified Dominant and sadist (don’t confuse this with satanist – very different things). He is also one of the kindess, most supportive, and least judgmental people in my world. So, I text him: ‘Hey. Hope you’re well. Um, can I try to find your prostate?’ Immediately, he responds with ‘yep” and, a minute later, ‘why?’ I LOVE that he is a yes first, why second kind of guy.
We set the date for the prostate massage to happen. I drive to his house and realize quickly that I have zero idea what I’m doing. I’ve never even accidentally found my finger up someone else’s butt. However, I’m the kind of girl who cannot be deterred from her mission. Where there’s a will – and a willing partner – there is a way.
I walk in, remove my shoes, and we make small talk for awhile. Then, he asks where I’d like him. I’m thrilled at the idea of giving this older man who is super involved in the world of sex an experience he’s never had before. He asks if he should ‘get ready’ and I realize he means cleaning his anus via an enema. Um, nah. But, let me trim my nails. I briefly wonder if I should wear some type of finger condom, but decide that will inhibit my tactile senses of probing for the prostrate. Nails trimmed and hands washed I have him naked, face up, on his bed.
I briefly sift through my options – start with pinky and work my way larger? No. Thumb? Definitely no. Pointer? Maybe? Ring? Too little control. Middle? Yes. It’s the longest, gives me two fingers of support on either side and has a good degree of dexterity. I lube up my right middle finger, do a brief rub around the point of entry, lean over my test subject for some connectedness and realize – I’ve never even kissed this man on the mouth. HOLD UP. I need to kiss him before I prostate jack-him-off. Right?
So, we kiss. Then I go in. Slowly. Methodically. He’s a fantastic communicator and knows his body, which is helpful as he verbally guides me to the goal. The P spot. It’s kind of like a smooth-ish, walnut-ish, different texture from the rest of the insides area. I had to get my finger far in there and hook it a bit toward the front of his body. I found the buried treasure. I proceed to rub, circle, stroke, push, and explore. Oddly, my wrist fatigued first. I have him in a pretty solid state of pleasure, so I slowly and carefully transition to the left middle finger to a) give my right wrist a break and b) check out my handedness. Maybe I’m a righty for throwing a ball and buttoning my pants, but -who knows – I could be a lefty when it comes to prostate rubbing.
After a few minutes I can tell his body is about to peak off the exploration, but his dick isn’t super hard. Hmmmmm. Unchartered territory. I keep watching him and doing my thing and he comes – inside. No precum, no semen, nothing external. It was as if he had a g-spot orgasm vs a clitoral orgasm. Deep, slow, and intense. I give him a minute to re-enter the post-orgasm world and slide my finger out.
I give him a quick kiss, hop off the bed, and go to wash my hands. I didn’t check my fingers for any ‘residue’ as I don’t really want to know, but it wasn’t hard to wash up. So, all in all, this didn’t seem like messy business. Just fun, interesting, pleasure-inducing business. Definitely try this at home.