Break-up with someone in 3 steps!

How to break-up with someone? You give them the sandwich

What do you say to the person you want to break up with?  That awkward conversation that you are totally dreading because they are feeling it more than you, and you know you just aren’t into them?  After several awkward conversations and more ridiculous dates that I didn’t want to repeat I became better at having this breakup conversation.

I dated a guy who insisted he could give me an orgasm without even touching my vagina.  I was up for the challenge so I kept my clothes on as instructed and laid on the bed.  He started with my foot and licked up toward my calf.  Long licks up continued, along my knee and thighs, fingers up to my arms.  I laid there feeling cold and a bit wet, uncomfortable and nowhere near an orgasm.  It was in that moment I knew I had to break up with him but he was such a great guy, and I’m sure his licking would do it for SOMEBODY…but that somebody was certainly not me.

So I sat up and told him exactly that.

“You are one of the kindest most intelligent men I’ve met.  Unfortunately for me, it doesn’t feel like we have the physical chemistry that I am looking for in a relationship, but I know you are going to make someone the happiest girl in the world!” I told Spice about this conversation and she was completely silent.  Just as I thought she was going to lecture me for being too patient and ask me why in the hell I laid there while he licked me like a kitten from head to toe, she said “you are amazing at this!  You just made him feel good, while delivering the blow right in between compliments”  And so it was dubbed the break up sandwich.

Breaking up is never easy but when delivered in a sandwich it typically is digested much easier.  Here are the key elements to the sandwich.

  1. Give them a compliment, something genuine that you have noticed truly is an attribute of theirs.
  2. Slide in a reason why it’s not working for you.  Focus on YOU, for example “I’m not feeling that we connect any more, I’m not feeling the chemistry, I’m not ready for such a serious commitment”
  3. Finish it up with a hopeful comment about the future.  Something about your hope for continued friendship, or how you know someone is going to be so thoughtful to have them in their life etc.

Stay away from long wordy conversations and explanations, don’t linger after the conversation either, and swiftly make your exit.

There you have it, the breakup sandwich, appears to be like any other sandwich and delivers the blow in the most digestible way.  I mean, if I have to get broken up, with who can argue about having the breakup delivered in a sandwich?? You got your comfort carbs on hand and ready for the aftermath.

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