By now, most of you have realized that monogamy and I are not friends. Sure, we are acquaintances but after my monogamous marriage ended we kind of lost touch. I’m in free love land and loving it. Although, I’m realizing that free love land may be a bit healthier for people’s hearts if we added a few restrictions or protocols. Let’s call it semi-free love.
The restrictions I’m proposing are minimal and, hopefully, common sense:
- Use safer sex practices: get tested regularly, communicate with partners about your sexual health and be clear on your boundaries with condom vs condom-free sex.
- Think through and understand your sexual boundaries. Having limits on what you will do sexually does not make you a prude. It makes you aware of your body and your heart. Being open doesn’t mean doing everything. It’s okay to have discretion in your sexual practices.
- Communicate clearly. The more you know yourself – the better you can share yourself with others. Take time to do this self work. What turns you on? Off? Do you have any triggers? How do you receive love? How do you show it? Knowing these parts of yourself will make you a better person, friend, and semi-free loving lover.
All of us are going to mess up, but it helps to have a relatively clear self-barometer that you can check in with when you feel confused. True consent requires an understanding of what you are consenting to experience and a knowledge that you can say no without negative consequences.
So, be a slut. Do what you want. Love freely and often. AND, incorporate safer sex, a practice of reflecting on your personal sexual boundaries and learn how to be a clear communicator. Have fun!