“Wrap it before you tap it.”
“Don’t be silly, protect your willie.”
“Don’t be a fool, cover your tool.”
However you choose to say it, practicing safer sex is essential when you are living a non-monogamous lifestyle. We all know that STDs are real. Some people have them and don’t even know it. Others have them and choose not to disclose. It’s not sexy to think about, but neither is worrying about pregnancy or sexual health after the heat of passion wanes.
Here is Spice’s Guide to Condom Etiquette:
- Both men and women should carry condoms with them and have them easily accessible at home.
- Condom usage should be discussed before things get hot and heavy and sex brain takes over your rational side.
- Heterosexual women should know how to put a condom on a penis. You can even learn to do this with your mouth!
- Accidents happen: condoms can break or come off during sex. This will be less scary if you’ve already had a chat about sexual health and back up pregnancy precautions.
- Men who get huffy, resistant, or talk too much about how much better condom-free sex is should be regarded with caution. They may try to turn you on and take advantage of your ‘sex brain fog’ and violate your condom boundaries.
- Get creative: if a man has trouble coming with a condom then he can pull out, take it off and come in/on a mutually agreed upon location (e.g.., stomach, chest, towel, etc)
- Both parties are responsible for ensuring the condom gets put on. Ladies -don’t let your passion sweep you away until you’ve sorted your safety.
- Remember that safer sex is a way to show love for your body and your partner’s body. Safe is sexy.
Find partners who are on the same page regarding sexual safety. One of the biggest turn offs is when a man tries to manipulate the situation into condom free sex. This is a major red flag and indicates a lack of respect for boundaries. The kinkiest people I know are all fastidious condom users. Think of it as an elite athlete who is diligent about exercise and nutrition. . . if you want to be an elite sexual powerhouse get diligent about protecting the critical bits!