The more I learn about mindfulness, the more I learn about befriending and trusting my body. Mindfulness promotes staying fully present in each moment and truly experiencing our experiences.
This type of experiential living is at odds with a “should” lifestyle. You may feel sad, but feel you should feel happy. You may feel happy, but feel you should feel angry. Or, whatever combo, but hopefully you get my point.
Even if the feelings are synched up, what you feel in your body is categorically separate from what you think about that feeling in your brain. And, our bodies are constantly working against a subconscious narrative script our brains are playing on repeat.
One of my subconscious narratives is that pleasure is superfluous. My brain does something like this, “when other people are suffering how dare you feel pleasure?”
And, I’m working to separate the suffering of others from my ability – and desire – to live a life of pleasure.
My brain will play tricks on me, but my body won’t. So, I’m slowly demoting my brain from dictator to helpful employee.
Sex has been one of the best mindfulness practices that I’ve experienced. During connected sex, the body is boss. The brain is able to take a much needed vacation to rest, relax, and rejuvenate.
It seems like sex can be categorized as “brain based”, “body based” (I’d also argue for a “spirit based” but that’s a whole other conversation). And, it depends on the level of safety and surrender the moment offers. The truest pleasure occurs when the brain taps out.
The more sex I have the more I recognize the importance of promoting my body to boss. Not by using substances to silence my brain, but by creating experiences that are conducive to my brain feeling safe enough to step away for awhile.
Check in with your brain-body hierarchy and just notice it for awhile. What changes would your body make if it could be boss?