Napa is NOT a single’s destination

girls weekend in Napa

If you are single and ready to mingle, Napa is NOT a single’s destination.

Spice came to visit me and we decided to take a girls trip to Napa.  THIS was what two very single and ready to mingle moms were going to do on their quest to get “stuffed in Napa”!  On our way we stopped for snacks, rolled up to our hotel and immediately started the hunt.

Every man who walked by was thoroughly inspected.  Wedding ring? No? Ok next. Was he hot enough? This is always an interesting question as Spice and I have such different taste in men.  But we can spot someone attractive to us a mile a way.  If he’s physically attractive enough then we see if we can get his attention to chat with him a little bit.  That’s the most important part.  If he can carry a good conversation and there is chemistry then BAM, he would be the one to stuff us in Napa!

Most of the men in the parking lot however were with a partner, so we headed into the lobby salivating at the thought of all the men we were going to meet that weekend.  The lobby was disappointing as well, so we decided to hit the town.  Every man in Napa seemed to be attached at the hip to either a man or a woman, what was going on here?  Wine tasting the next day, dinner the next night, what a disappointment! We didn’t meet a single single man in Napa!!

After a very big Italian dinner on a our last night, surrounded by couples we decided to flirt with the bartender out of sheer desperation.  He made for good conversation and we left the restaurant absolutely stuffed (with Pizza instead of D).  Somehow our conversation on the walk home ended up on the topic of porn.  I think it was because we were discussing how we double stuffed ourselves with wine and Pizza and I said how that sounded like porn.  Spice had no idea what double stuffed was so we decided we were going to go back to the hotel and watch porn.  Sounded like a great idea.  We put our pj’s on, got on the computer, and fired up a porn site.

I can’t tell you enough how complicated that whole double stuffed thing looks.  There is so much going on for the girl in these scenarios, I’d be so overwhelmed, there is no way I’d be able to concentrate on enjoying myself! Besides looking uncomfortable, how do you even do that without the guys balls bouncing off the other guys balls at some point?  Isn’t that awkward?!  We both decided double stuffed wasn’t our thing, unless its wine and pizza, or maybe Oreo’s but there wasn’t one D to stuff us in Napa let alone two!

Note to all you single ladies.  If you are on a girls trip with the quest to get stuffed, Napa isn’t the place to do it, unless you’re ok with being stuffed with wine and Pizza instead of the D.


Leave a Reply