Travel, Sex, Period.

period, sex, menstruation, menses, aunt flo, crimson wave, monthly visitor, period sex, travel, vacation, etiquette, sex partner, communication, blood, messy

I wish the title had been Travel Sex, Period.  Insinuating that all you need is travel sex.  But, in fact, the grammar of the title is correct.  I recently traveled, with the fringe purpose to have a couple sex dates, and was on my period.  Thus, the question: what kind of advance warning, if any, is expected by my travel companion(s) regarding the status of my menses?

My trip was centered around a conference, but I had mentioned to two men in the geographical vicinity that I’d be in the area and we had loose plans to meet up.  One guy, was a one-night stand, turned texting buddy, who I’d met in Las Vegas a couple years ago.  We’d had a fun night of zero-expectations sex and developed a casual friendship.  The other guy happens to be a friend of a friend who I’ve had a stairwell makeup session with that has never passed 2nd base.

A few days before my trip, I checked my period tracking app and realized I was due to start imminently.  Do I tell these guys?  I texted a few of my trusted guy friends to assess the situation.  Most were in agreement that it would ‘be cool to give them a heads up.’

Now, this is annoying because I want all people to celebrate menstruation and embrace period sex.  But, I also understand that blood is messy and squishy and potentially hazardous.  It could be a plot twist on the sexy weekend meet-up.  I wanted to believe that these men would be just as happy to grab a bite and catch up and have whatever level of period exposure they were comfortable with.  However, I knew I shouldn’t spring the news on them as my pants were coming off.

The best advice I got from a respected sex partner and good friend was: It depends:

  1. If you know the guy well, tell him before.
  2. If both of you regularly have sex best to tell before he comes to visit, but not as crucial.
  3. If sex is still up for determination later, tell just before sex.

I opted to tell the first guy I was set to meet.  He said he didn’t mind ,but then he ended up cancelling because a friend had an emergency.  True?  Unclear, but I don’t plan on trying to coordinate a visit with him anytime soon.  I didn’t tell the second guy because our plans were less firm due to his work and he ended up having a work trip anyway so we will never know his response.  But, I did meet a super hottie who I told as we were making out in my hotel room – he grabbed a towel, rolled with the moment, and made for a beautiful connection.

I hate that women have to think about notifying a sex partner of the status of their period.  But, at the same time, if I were going to hook up with a woman I would want to know if I should expect to encounter blood.  Also, if I was going to travel with a man and he had a situation that could impact sex (new medication, unclear STD test/outbreak, etc) then I would want to know.  So, I think it the period talk should happen, but it depends on your relationship with the other person exactly when it should occur.

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