I wish the title had been Travel Sex, Period. Insinuating that all you need is travel sex. But, in fact, the grammar of the title is correct. I recently traveled, with the fringe purpose to have a couple sex dates, and was on my period. Thus, the question: what kind of advance warning, if any, is expected by my travel companion(s) regarding the status of my menses?
My trip was centered around a conference, but I had mentioned to two men in the geographical vicinity that I’d be in the area and we had loose plans to meet up. One guy, was a one-night stand, turned texting buddy, who I’d met in Las Vegas a couple years ago. We’d had a fun night of zero-expectations sex and developed a casual friendship. The other guy happens to be a friend of a friend who I’ve had a stairwell makeup session with that has never passed 2nd base.
A few days before my trip, I checked my period tracking app and realized I was due to start imminently. Do I tell these guys? I texted a few of my trusted guy friends to assess the situation. Most were in agreement that it would ‘be cool to give them a heads up.’
Now, this is annoying because I want all people to celebrate menstruation and embrace period sex. But, I also understand that blood is messy and squishy and potentially hazardous. It could be a plot twist on the sexy weekend meet-up. I wanted to believe that these men would be just as happy to grab a bite and catch up and have whatever level of period exposure they were comfortable with. However, I knew I shouldn’t spring the news on them as my pants were coming off.
The best advice I got from a respected sex partner and good friend was: It depends:
- If you know the guy well, tell him before.
- If both of you regularly have sex best to tell before he comes to visit, but not as crucial.
- If sex is still up for determination later, tell just before sex.
I opted to tell the first guy I was set to meet. He said he didn’t mind ,but then he ended up cancelling because a friend had an emergency. True? Unclear, but I don’t plan on trying to coordinate a visit with him anytime soon. I didn’t tell the second guy because our plans were less firm due to his work and he ended up having a work trip anyway so we will never know his response. But, I did meet a super hottie who I told as we were making out in my hotel room – he grabbed a towel, rolled with the moment, and made for a beautiful connection.
I hate that women have to think about notifying a sex partner of the status of their period. But, at the same time, if I were going to hook up with a woman I would want to know if I should expect to encounter blood. Also, if I was going to travel with a man and he had a situation that could impact sex (new medication, unclear STD test/outbreak, etc) then I would want to know. So, I think it the period talk should happen, but it depends on your relationship with the other person exactly when it should occur.